Youtube Feet Savannah Brown | savbrown


hi :) this is what i look like watering my plant :)
the pictures are unrelated to the following which i guess is my horny diary: i am very unexpectedly going to london this weekend for a...party...uh...like a play party..?...a party...ok fine it's tickle freaks specifically...it all happened so fast..
it's a smallish thing at a dungeon in central put on by a friend. there's like. i don't know. forty people going? there are truly dozens of us
i'm freaking out a little...i haven't done this before...like, public anything...i saw this sort of thing happening on the weird forums i frequented as a teenager and oh my god..the longing!...when will it be meeee i thought..then something flipped in my twenties and i got judgemental instead. secretly i still wanted an experience like that but the shamelessness of it all made me cringe. and what if, i thought, i went, and there were people there i wasn't attracted to?!? god forbid. now i'm different and think everyone is kind of hot so it's fine.
i did infamously (infamously in, like, my own personal lore that i make jokes with myself about) go alone to a klub verboten social in 2023 and was so fucking nervous that beforehand i went to a pub close by and asked for 'a whisky'. i had never done this before. the guy was like any.....particular....kind? and i was like, no, i would just like one whisky. then i went and it was okay. it wasn't really my vibe, and i gave my phone number away more than once without really wanting to, and totally obliviously caused a couple to get into a fight ('a twenty year old,' the girlfriend yelled to the boyfriend who'd wanted me, 'a twenty year old?!' me, thinking happily to myself: 'twenty-six, actually :)'). i went looking for people like me and didn't feel like i found them. i was still glad i'd gone, because i'd been so afraid but did it anyway. god knows i never saw the playrooms. it was for the best; i don't know how i would have dealt with that back then.
but now it's like. it's happening!!! hahahaha. fuck man. i dunno. what do i WEAR!!!!
i'm going not assuming i'm gonna...do anything.....i'm there observing first of all...maybe i will just mill around...maybe i will be moved...maybe i'm gonna get my shit rocked in front of forty people hahaha....i don't KNOW!! AHHHH!!!

give me a moment
i did a good job of being there without interpreting and now i have all this interior stuff to sift through...i did play a bit!!...gasp...ahh i just wrote some stuff and then deleted it hahahah i don't know how i want to do this yet, more soon
 

lil leg tie on myself....this was actually really vibey to do....kinda high...lit a candle...john mulaney voice you make it nice for the baby.....
shibari has been on my radar recently....i like the sensations and the meticulousness of process and the attention and the oh-no-i'm-in-a-predicament feeling and i'm interested in tying being the point instead of a means to an end. a friend runs a rope studio in london and i'm seeing him later in the month :) i wanna take pics
also instagram keeps serving me videos of skinny little pixie girls tied to trees and stuff and it makes my heart flutter (lol ok also i'm feeling brave......i did a q+a months ago where someone asked about fetish-related fantasies and i couldn't gag out a single one.....a fun lil thing i think about is that i am a cryptid woods fairy creature and a team of like, i don't know, nebulously hot scientists are sent out to catch me because they need my cum....for....something....and so they catch me and tie me up and tickle me and make me orgasm a bunch...and they're sweet good-hearted scientists so they at first feel incredibly weird and conflicted about the whole thing because obviously i'm begging and begging for it to stop...but as it goes on they all discover they're sort of overcome by their own sadism towards me specifically...and even after they get what they came for they keep going just because they're enjoying themselves...like they actually can't make themselves stop because i'm so pretty and fucked up and making cute noises–)
aaaaaaaAAAHHHHH
also please ignore the actual gashes on my feet unless you're into that then look harder. maybe it's a thing where they could heal faster with saliva. like how you piss on jellyfish stings or whatever. look, i don't know! i'm not a doctor!
p.s. i want to post something else about the play party...mainly because i have more pictures hahahah...i keep doing this thing to myself where i say 'writing incoming' just assuming it is but my god am i hermetically sealed when i'm not feeling it....i've written a bit but it's missing something...i think i'm feeling shy!!....or, also, it was a more complicated experience than like, here is a sexy rave review hahaha. dunno. 'more' 'coming'

"please.....shh.....my favorite show's on......"
 

my early birthday present to myself :) i love when things are imbued with freak meaning and genuinely beautiful at the same time...the pendant unfortunately does not have a little bell inside to let you know when i’m bounding near
shall we all place bets on when i'm gonna stop being so coy about my tits
i'm in london! writing to you from comfy ass hotel bed
i saw my online-friend with the rope studio yesterday for sussing-each-other-out drinks ahead of our playdate this weekend...his name's conor. he is irish and the exact same height as me and knows a lot of things that i don't know. he's been heavily involved in bdsm-world for years and years....has tons of crazy stories....he used to be an architect. now he runs the studio and teaches and does sex work for an almost exclusively female clientele. i found this fascinating. i was like, how often do they fall in love? 'all the time,' he said, then corrected himself: 'ah, maybe three or four times a year.' i laughed because i thought he was gonna say three or four times total.
he was soooo interested in the tickle fetish stuff which was fun. i sang like a canary
i wasn't sure if him tying me was gonna be purely novelty-powered exploratory thing or if we were gonna actually be into each other..and...we're into each other!!!!...which is obviously fun and exciting and changes things a bit!!!! hahaha i wasn't necessarily expecting that
when we were a couple drinks in and comfy and flirty he was like 'i am just feeling like i want to bully you'
no please stop don't
basically if i pop into your mind sunday evening know i am exactly where i want to be

i wonder if these are shocking, but this is where i'm at, and i do want to show you, so i won't think too hard about it
the stupid fucking fun...the stupid fucking fun
i was very nervous when i got there...we did cutesy and gentle-ish floor rope stuff first and then debriefed...conor said i was in and out...i felt like i'd been performing sweet amenable little rope girl...i was like, honestly, i wanted to fight you and be annoying the whole time...so we went again and i got my ass beat + got hogtied quicker than i knew it was possible to get hogtied and then he sort of strung me up and stuck clothespins on my tongue and rooted around in my mouth so i'd gag and drool on myself and then ran a string along the clothespins which got sopped with my drool and then he sucked on the string :)
:)
i did not expect any of this or even know that i liked it :)
i just love it, i love being the object of someone's creative sadism, i love this kind of attention, i love being roughed up, i just love it, i love it, i love it down
we debriefed again...apparently i 'talk a big talk' and 'get very polite' when i'm scared and am 'a weakling'...then he very sweetly was like...can i tickle you...cue biggest eye roll of all time from me...ughhh, fine, if you must, if you insist...
:)
UGH!!!!! UUUGggghhhhhh
most fun ever..cannot tell you how much he got it..later he was like 'i thought i was done, i thought i knew all my kinks'..i was watching his mind rearrange..which is the best review you could possibly hope for..
:)
UUUHHHGG
there is a video and iiii can't stop watching it lmao...it's so hot...i'm so hot...he's so hot...the sadism..it turns me on so much that i feel like i'm falling....conor seriously proposed we make tickle porn hahahahah and like...i can't tell you how badly teenage-me wanted this...i was so jealous of the girls...at the moment i'm still too shy to even pick a screenshot where he's actually tickling me lmao...fuck sake...who knows...who knows (it definitely couldn't be here...did you know patreon has a rule against depicting even fictional consensual non-consent?...makes ya think) (also my career? ah..my career..fuck the career..)
anyway then we smoked and i got way too high off one idiot disaster toke from his pipe that i didn't know how to use and we talked about everything in the world and then i was offputting for a bit and then we went to sleep and woke up and fucked around some more and i set off with my rope-bruised arms and belly and neck to get back to the hotel before check out and catch my train hovering one inch off the ground
so fun. so fun. i think we'll do something again. all very unexpected
sigh. i don't know. this reminded me how fucking stupid obsessed i am with all of this
i think about my life orienting totally in the direction of this stupid fucking fun and it makes me want to cry with wanting which i choose to believe is the sensation that precedes getting
my life is begging for it
i said something to conor that he seemed kind of amused and surprised by, and his reaction amused and surprised me, because i'd assumed everyone felt like this, so i guess i'll tell you too: when i'm playing there is almost always a precarious little moment during where i think sadly that it's gonna be over soon...and then when it's over i'm like ugh...it wasn't long enough. this happened even when i was playing regularly. i just never feel finished. i love it so much
sigh
anyway
i suffer very beautifully. if you think my joy is beautiful then just imagine how the suffering must look
(i posted a little video for my thirtieth birthday...did you see it...the happiness there is maybe not unrelated to what i've described here...our secret i guess)

since we've broken the ice re: pictures of me strapped the hell to something.....here's these :p......hahahaha
ARE THESE SHOCKING!!! I DON'T KNOW!!!
nothing i write about it feels correct. there's been a self-imposed pressure to come back with a glowing report. i told myself ‘no expectations’ which was true—but my mind plays compulsively in fantasy. i spend so many of my creative production tokens there. i love making up events for me to star in—i take long showers and do this, come up with a great swath of things that could happen and act through my responses to them. i did this also with the party. what if i meet someone and it’s so amazing—what if i’m princess of the party—what if i’m out all night—what if there's a billion hot people and all of them blah blah blah blah me—
since i've spent time inhabiting every obscene fantasy reality i could think of in advance, even if i’m not expecting anything, i'm still secretly wishing for something fantastical to happen. ideally i would do this less because i think i’d be happier that way and could use the creative energy for other more satisfying things and could better appreciate moments for what they are and see what is already fantastical inside them. anyway—
we’ll call him ryan. ryan came to me right after the welcome talk, an immediacy that suggested he’d been planning to do it. he confirmed this with words. i appreciated the initiative. i’d met him years before, at a munch; we got on well enough, and i wasn’t unattracted to him, and i’d come all the way here and was very curious, so i let him strap me to a bench. this all happened within ten minutes of the party starting.
i was compromised. surrounding me were people clearly looking at me but pretending to not. i did like this. something i liked about the tube in london was that there would sometimes be someone in the carriage i knew was looking at me. it was almost never in that perverse ogling sort of way, it was someone trying not to be noticed looking, someone whose attention i could feel jolt when i stood up to leave; and feeling the jolt of their attention would make me wet. they didn’t necessarily have to be someone i was attracted to. i was attracted specifically to their shyness, then the jolt.
so i enjoyed the shy-being-watched, which i'd been curious about. i knew i looked good and that i was reacting sweetly and that people were jolting. ryan started messing with me. i started to sweat. but i found: i was so aware i was being watched that i couldn't stop myself from tracking the room to survey my own surveillance, which decoupled me from the body. i couldn’t both be inside myself and experience the pleasure of being watched. i could oscillate between, but this was confusing, and meant i couldn't really occupy either pleasure fully.
basically, i didn't feel very ticklish. or at least, not as much as i know i can be. and if ryan and i did have chemistry, it was too loud to find out. to me the soul of playing is the reaction-tracking...someone being tuned in enough to notice a little hitch of breath...trained on my face...listening out for stupid incriminating shit i mutter to myself...all things that were simply impossible in this environment. playing with someone for the first time is delicate enough. bassy club music...usual party roar...here, strangers literally screaming (not having the same issues as me!)...my nuance, my sweet nuance, where did you go....
we messed around a bit (there was a fun moment..ryan had been semi-gently mouthing my thighs, i think not knowing what i could take...i turned around and said, if you're gonna bite me then bite me, and he smiled and did and i yelped), then went to a table with stocks. which was fun! baby's first stocks! awful! i liked the table better. i felt blinder and could sink into myself more and my nervous system came online; now there were only flashes of awareness i was being watched. my hands were strapped above my head. right behind me, i knew, was a couch full of people. there were moments where i writhed around and curled or splayed my hands, or rattled the chain around; i knew my hands were being looked at, and felt a duty to keep performing with them, to hyperbolize my suffering.
i know i had more fun here, though, because i lost track of time. it could have been ten minutes or thirty.
i love the losing track. when it’s really good there are moments where i lose my sense of what’s even going on, what this sensation is, how it's happening. the interiority is like: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—god i look stupid i sound stupid i look fucking stupid—UGHHH FUCK THIS GUY—i’m good at getting tortured. the wiring is bizarre. i sincerely want it so badly to stop—i will scream to make it stop—and then it stops and i feel like a pathetic cartoon rabbit turning up its big bubbly eyes, begging. where is the rest? why has it stopped? what would make you think that was what i wanted? how could you be so ridiculous?
stuff happened and ryan let me go and i shook happily with adrenaline.
there was a feeling of freedom. look at all of us, doing this. it's fucking ridiculous, i thought, and everyone's very happy; good for all of us. i felt buzzy and beautiful as i bopped around and chatted. in watching others play the shame had no choice but to loosen lest i hurl myself out of the room. i felt pleasantly therapized.
then i went to the bathroom to see my stupid sheer pants were wet through with my cum and i had to clean myself up :)
later i passed ryan strapped to the same table i'd been on—and i joined two other girls in...you know...—but this is my dark passenger and i get shy talking about her so i won't right now. it was fun. i surprised myself. ('you're mean,' said ryan (this is me bragging without having to actually stand the embarrassment of telling you anything specific)).
at the end of the night i sat on the couch my hands were being watched from with my friend who we'll call alex. alex ran a feather up and down my feet and across my legs and occasionally pinned me down to [sjjfsjkfdkj redacted]. it was cozy and fun and without pressure. i told him, i almost like this better than the other stuff. we laughed with each other about the silliness. of the deafening gurgle of house music, i said: i cannot tell you how far away this is from the actual sound in my head right now. alex asked what the sound was. i don’t know, i said, a refrigerator hum, a monkey clapping cymbals.
i imagined: this freedom, this stupidness, but somewhere beautiful, lit like a film, little bursts of orange around the place—what if i could control the environment? the playlist? what if i had real affection for every single person there?
then i went back to the hotel and took ages to fall asleep and in the morning got the train home, thrilled i'd done it all so as not to spend my whole life wondering. i don't feel immediately desperate for round two. i was happy to have the kind of playing i like confirmed for me. i think a party like that might feel different with a partner, or with many people who know me well.
this was difficult to write and i feel there's so much i'm not conveying still but hey ho.
anyway....in other news.....i was keeping this separate on purpose at first but now i feel, ah, what the hell: here's my fetlife if that interests you. desperate to stake my claim on yet another social media platform (edit: i'm currently futzing around with my bio so if you see it change no you didn't)
Her fetlife account: https://fetlife.com/livininthefuture. I am not a fetlife user so unsure if this is a brand new account or her main one she's always used.
 
As a fetlife user, I can confirm the account it from 2022. No new info and only 3 pics which are all already here.
and so this isn't just a discussion post here's some old pics.
 
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